Day 20-Something

Lessons Learned from the Trenches

Well, it has been an interesting week this past week. I have never felt more like Eve in the Garden of Eden and being tempted to eat the forbidden fruit. It has been nuts! As of Friday I hit a low of 12.4 pounds lost on this journey and then I let Satan get the best of me and I chose to throw the diet out the window for a few days while my sister was here. While I didn't eat horrible, my choices are now making me pay dearly. I can't remember feeling so lousy in all my life. Friday I blew it a little and yesterday I ate FRENCH FRIES....GASP!!!! Now while Kim and I shared a meal at Training Table yesterday (and still no Diet Coke for me) the oils and grease have turned my stomach upside down. Or perhaps it was a glass of the homemade root beer at the ward party in all it's sugar glory...I don't know. All I know is that it is 3:50 a.m. and I feel like garbage.

I will not and cannot blame my bad choices on my visiting sister, family BBQ or Makynlee's birthday party. And even though I know this little falling off the wagon will set back my weight loss, I have learned a few things and am actually kind of glad it has happened. I know a little of how Eve must have felt when she said "it is better to pass through sorrow so we can know the joy" kind of thing. I may feel sicker than a dog tonight but this choice was mine and these are my consequences and believe me, this is going to make it a whole lot easier just to stick with the diet. It was crazy how quickly all those oils and greases have gone through my system...not a fun feeling.

Another thing I am learning is that my insulin is getting low and steady YEAH!!!! What a grand discovery to know that I haven't had any really bad hypoglycemia episodes at all in these past 3 weeks. No sugar means no over-competitive insulin. I can now see why you still aren't supposed to incorporate sugar until after the 3 week maintenance period. I hope I haven't sabotaged the whole experience. I know that I will do the 23 day session again instead of the 40 days. 6 weeks is just too long. Two shorter sessions would have been more doable. Oh but what I have learned. As hard and hellish as this has been, my brain is slowly switching gears. I want to eat only to live. A fresh squeezed lemonade is better than a Diet Coke. So even though the scale is not going to be nice to me for probably another week, I have to say it really has been a good thing for me to start to realize.

Here's to another week and doing better and feeling MUCH better once all this garbage rids my system!

Since April 9th my WL total is 16 pounds.