Day 20-Something

Lessons Learned from the Trenches

Well, it has been an interesting week this past week. I have never felt more like Eve in the Garden of Eden and being tempted to eat the forbidden fruit. It has been nuts! As of Friday I hit a low of 12.4 pounds lost on this journey and then I let Satan get the best of me and I chose to throw the diet out the window for a few days while my sister was here. While I didn't eat horrible, my choices are now making me pay dearly. I can't remember feeling so lousy in all my life. Friday I blew it a little and yesterday I ate FRENCH FRIES....GASP!!!! Now while Kim and I shared a meal at Training Table yesterday (and still no Diet Coke for me) the oils and grease have turned my stomach upside down. Or perhaps it was a glass of the homemade root beer at the ward party in all it's sugar glory...I don't know. All I know is that it is 3:50 a.m. and I feel like garbage.

I will not and cannot blame my bad choices on my visiting sister, family BBQ or Makynlee's birthday party. And even though I know this little falling off the wagon will set back my weight loss, I have learned a few things and am actually kind of glad it has happened. I know a little of how Eve must have felt when she said "it is better to pass through sorrow so we can know the joy" kind of thing. I may feel sicker than a dog tonight but this choice was mine and these are my consequences and believe me, this is going to make it a whole lot easier just to stick with the diet. It was crazy how quickly all those oils and greases have gone through my system...not a fun feeling.

Another thing I am learning is that my insulin is getting low and steady YEAH!!!! What a grand discovery to know that I haven't had any really bad hypoglycemia episodes at all in these past 3 weeks. No sugar means no over-competitive insulin. I can now see why you still aren't supposed to incorporate sugar until after the 3 week maintenance period. I hope I haven't sabotaged the whole experience. I know that I will do the 23 day session again instead of the 40 days. 6 weeks is just too long. Two shorter sessions would have been more doable. Oh but what I have learned. As hard and hellish as this has been, my brain is slowly switching gears. I want to eat only to live. A fresh squeezed lemonade is better than a Diet Coke. So even though the scale is not going to be nice to me for probably another week, I have to say it really has been a good thing for me to start to realize.

Here's to another week and doing better and feeling MUCH better once all this garbage rids my system!

Since April 9th my WL total is 16 pounds.

Day 16

Well, I was down 8.4 pounds as of this morning and then I just caved and had a few handfuls of popcorn tonight at the movie theater. My stomach is protesting in a BIG way but my taste buds were totally going bonkers. So I am sure my weight loss will suffer from this lack of will power from tonight but the available food I have to eat is just lacking in variety. I made it through Makynlee's birthday without even so much as licking a beater of the frosting or popping an m&m from her cake. I made a baked apple while everyone else ate cake and ice cream.

Here's hoping Week 3 will be good!

Day 13

Still stuck at 7 pounds on this hard diet. On a good note though, I am at almost 11 pounds down since I started getting serious about losing weight on April 9th.

The diet is getting easier but food is sure tough to enjoy when there just isn't a huge variety. I read that I could eat dried fruit but I am finding that my weight has not lost or has even rose on the day after eating dried apples. I ate the appropriate serving size for them but apparently the calories are higher in dried fruit than fresh. I have no clue why that is. If you just remove the water from an apple, then why are there more calories in that same apple?

I have been exercising every day but nothing too extreme.

Day 10

Down a total of 7 pounds today! Woo hoo. The thing I am struggling with the most of temptations of every sort. BriAnna made cookies last night and their smell assaulted my poor withering taste buds. I resisted of course and was happy to see the scale jump down 1.8 pounds this morning from yesterday.

The hardest part of this whole experience is finding a variety of way to eat the same foods over and over. Yesterday was a tough day as I just wasn't hungry at all. I don't know if it's the hormone shot that is keeping me feeling full or what, but I just have a hard time eating. Perhaps I know how much effort has to go into preparing each meal an that makes it hard too. Today I am going to grill a burger loaded with spices so I am excited about that.

Another challenge is finding time to prepare my own meals along with the rest of the family's food. The other night I made waffles for them and wow, the craving to lick the batter bowl as unreal. I love waffle batter! I resisted. I have not cheated once this week at all.

As tough as this is, I can see that the pounds are falling off. Even the inches are starting to show (on the measuring tape). I haven't noticed a huge difference in fit in my clothes yet but I am sure I will as this next week progresses. I find that I am changing how I feel a little about food. Right now food is merely fuel, nothing else really. So I am basically eating to live. Not the other way around. I hope to find a happy balance someday where I can still enjoy food AND remember that it is only fuel. It has been 7 days now without a Diet Coke and although I would love to have one, I am not as all consumed with the need for one. We'll see how things progress and if I ever drink one again. I am more concerned with the Aspartame than anything.

Day 8

Down .4. Not sure if that's because I didn't have the hormone shot yesterday or what. But the scale is going down and that is good! I found a good dessert today. I sliced some apples and sprinkled them with cinnamon and some stevia and microwaved it a little. Yummy. I think the caffeine is out of my system now and I have no headaches. That is super great!

I think the weirdest thing is that the cravings for anything I can't have is so high. Yesterday my partner at cub scouts mentioned something about roasting marshmallows....oh I want one so bad! I also thought of making Ramen for Tessa for lunch and that also sounded so good, and I am not even usually a huge fan of ramen. It is crazy how good some things sound.

Today I did have something that tasted different and yummy. I boiled some sliced roast beef in some beef broth with some onion, salt and pepper. The meat was very flavorful and tasted good. Not quite a french dip sandwich but doable until I can have carbs again in 5 weeks.

This is the HARDEST thing I have ever done. I can't dispute the numbers on the scale. Down 5.4 pounds in 5 days is not bad. But wow, I can't wait to have some other foods someday.

My new mantra is : I CAN DO HARD THINGS.

Day 7

This is what I had for lunch yesterday. It is a full plate every meal and I am still not hungry. I am FAMISHED for my Diet Coke. Every time I drive past a McDonalds I just want one so bad. Yesterday was a horrible day as I woke up with a monster head ache. I went to the gym and took a little afternoon nap and then headache was letting up. Went to bed by 11:30, I was in bed much earlier than that but between my headache, my racing brain and Tessa peeing all over the bathroom floor at 11, sleep didn't come until later. Oh well. Better than 1 a.m. right?

Today I woke up with much less of a headache and am down another 1.6 pounds! That is a total of 5 pounds so far. Lots more to go but heading in the right direction.

It is crazy to think that my body has been 100% free of sugar, carbs, starch and oil since Sunday and I am still alive!

Day6

Down 1.4 more!

Day 5

Down 2 pounds this morning.

Things are going well. Tonight I am hitting the hay SUPER early as I am just beat. Between getting very few hours of sleep last night and no Diet Coke for 48 hours...my head is pounding. Once again, I have experienced zero hunger at all. Awesome!

11 cups of water
Lunch: 2 crackers, 2 servings of steamed broccoli and 3 oz of grilled chicken at Chili's. Yeah, I ate out for lunch on my second day of the diet! Woo Hoo! I did it . Mom's Diet Coke was just screaming at me the whole time but I stuck with my water and lime. I also ate some Stevia sweetened strawberries.

Dinner: 3oz. steak and a serving of steamed asparagus and cauliflower. 2 crackers.

Snack: 1 apple.

Jaiden gave me the hormone shot this morning. He did a great job and now I will feel a little more at ease as he does it again tomorrow. All in all, I feel really good about making it through another day, even being out all day and all those McDonald's we passed (oh my favorite place to get Diet Coke.) I held strong and made it through! Now I am feeling really vested.

Let the Journey Begin

This is approximately a 10 week journey to a healthier body, a cleaner system and much better habits. Along with an injection of hormones daily as prescribed by the doc, here is a record of my eating habits, my exercise along with my weight loss.

Day One: Thursday May 7, Eat a higher fat intake than normal
Day Two: Friday May 8, Eat a higher fat intake than normal
Day Three: Saturday May 9, Eat a higher fat intake than normal

Today, Day 4. Sunday May 10. Happy Mother's Day. Eat no breakfast and drink 1 quart of water by the end of lunch. Had 3 oz of cooked halibut, 10 strawberries, 1 serving of broccoli and 1 serving of cauliflower (both steamed with season salt.) Feeling really full so far.

Dinner. 3.5 oz of chicken breast seasoned with season salt and red pepper flakes cooked in fat free chicken broth. 1 serving of broccoli and 1 serving of cauliflower (steamed and season salt.) 4 melba toast crackers. Stuffed beyond belief. Cannot fit my other serving of fruit or crackers in yet.

Bedtime snack. Finally getting down an apple and 2 crackers. That fulfills my entire day's food requirements. Not hungry AT ALL. In fact, rather stuffed.

Water: 10 cups

Hoping I can manage tomorrow with a whole day away from home. I am such a social eater. Praying I can do it but can't afford not to.